Sunday, 16 July 2017

Serene Sunday????

What are they!!!
I NEED to move house soon,
I am turning into a vile old woman who hates noisy HAPPY kids.
Growing up we lived in a tenement flat (6 houses in one building)
We lived on the top floor and in our building there was a total of 18 kids
ranging from newborn to teens, and the next building were the same also but the bottom flat was an old woman who's daughter and her 2 teenage kids lived on the other side of our building.
Mrs B the old woman was horrid and hated us kids, used to scream out the window at us to shut up, throw water over us if we went in her garden to get our ball or anything.
Anyway today Ian is out working all day with Scott (Jordans best friend and our adopted son lol)
and Jayden decided to get a lift from them to my mums and stay over there till Tuesday.
So since 10am my house has just been me and Max, anyway I am in my craftroom just plodding about, die cutting some wedding invites I have been commissioned to make but my hands are playing up a lot so only got 2 cut, think I will be visiting mums soon and roping in some help die cutting, im sure between my mum, my sister and my niece we will get them done in no time.
but im stressed out with the weans out playing in next doors backdoor, no i am not being nasty or mean and holliering at them but it is driving me mental, the house is boiling but Im actually considering closing the windows just to get some peace.
dunno whats going on with me.

Have saw a new house and sent interest to the landlord so need to wait on word hopefully monday cause I dont know if I could handle this much longer. 

We had car troubles this week also which cost us £600 to repair, a new clutch kit.
Also meant Jordan didnt see anyone, but have got visits booked in for Mon and Wed, I have spoken to him everyday almost tho which is a welcome relief.
Hes just completed a health and safety course which he loved and got a lot of information from, the certificate was signed by the chief of police from Edinburgh x I am proud he is doing something and trying to make positive changes.
Just hard, Also he prewarned me that he doesnt expect to be home for Christmas, which is devastating and I will really struggle with x 

Oh well windows closed would rather cook than get more irritated by screams and noise.
shocking I know. 
If you had known me prior to this illness you wouldnt believe I am the same person, I have always loved kids and even when I was young, summer holidays me and my bestie were like mary poppins all the kids from the street walking them to the park with a big bottle of squash and a pack of sandwiches some treats and we had them out all day from 10am till sometimes 7pm and we all had a ball, now my own youngest gets on my nerves when he chatters constantly about nothing, I listen to him but usually he goes off kilter and starts talking about random crap, footie or wrestling, cars stuff I have zero interest in. 
but he knows when I say I am feeling agitated to just give me space and leave me alone.
Honestly I feel so vile and full of self lothing sometimes yet I know its the illness NOT ME, but thats hard to explain to someone, neighbours etc who didnt know me back then, they only see the person I am now. I started crafting (have a ton of wedding invites to die cut) but my hands are extremely sore today also and I have stomach craps, I have a mirena coil fitted so I no longer get a cycle but when my cycle is due I get very crappy and feel sore. 

So yes not feeling at my best today, but I am not giving in, I am going to push through, I will watch some youtube videos and get some ideas in place and then maybe scroll pinterest for some ideas x
Got a large order of SU coming this week (see my last blog post) so I want to get some inspiration for the new stuff x 

Hopefully feel more "normal" tomorrow x

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